BE ...

Ali Edwards has issued her one word challenge again. Last year I thought about it, and then got pregnant and my brain dried up into a little crusty raisin. And, if you did not already know this, raisins are not crafty. Raisins have not one artistic inclination. So, needless to say, my one word did not go anywhere. I am not even sure what it was. I might have blogged about it, but I can't remember.
Anyways, this year my word is BE!
There are so many things that I want to be, and there are a ton of things that I need to be.One of the big things that I have realized that I need to be is an adult. You would think that by the age of 30 I would have figured this out, but I look around my house and know that I have not. An adult could not live in this mess!! An adult would know how to make a five year old listen to her (at least part of the time). I need to not be my daughters playmate. I need to be her mother. Mothers can play, but mothers do so much more.
Another thing I want is to be creative. I want to be able to take the time to create whatever my version of art may be for that day. I have been really inspired by art journals and mixed media artists. My sweetie hubby just bought me an easel for Christmas. Maybe it will actually get used.
And, to be horribly cheesey ...I want to BE all that I can BE!!
I don't want to just sit on my tush while life whirls by me.
I want to be part of this world.
I want to be part of life.
I want to be someone that other people want to know.

Christmas Canvas - in progress

As usual I start things at the last minute. We were supposed to head out of town Sunday, so I for some reason decided to start this on Saturday. We ended up staying until Monday, so I did the beading on the tree Sunday night. Now I just meed to find the time and energy to play some more.


This is just one of those cheapy canvases on a board things you can get at WalMart. I had one upstairs that Katie and I had played with at one time (should have taken a pic of the before, huh). Good thing about it is that you can use a thumbtack to punch holes through to string the wire for the beads. Lots of stitching happening on this one I think .. I have this inability to trust adhesive. Strange ...

Creative Hiatus

And who knows when I will be back. I did complete a page last week, but it had taken me weeks to do. I just can't seem to grab more than a few moments in my room. I walk in, glue something down, or pull something out to use...and then I have to walk out.The glue dries, I get a fresh perspective on the new pieces ... but it really is not conducive to creating. At least not for me.
My scrapjournal did not make it this year. Pregnancy kicked my creative butt. I did nothing while I was creating life. Hopefully now that I have my wee man on the outside I will be able to think creatively. Though right now my mind is pretty braindead. Does not help that "my room" is so full of random crap from around the house that I can't even walk in to it. The crib is still in a box and taking up the tiny bit of space that was in my room. Poor little tiny cave. Guess I should be thankful that I have any space to call my own ...

Actual creating ...

Taking a page from Elsie ... to just scrap it. Use your instincts and get it on paper. Don't agonize over everything ... DON"T STRESS! She seems like such an instinctual scrapper. Her pages have this thrown together look. And she is so brilliant that they look FAB! I'm no Elsie, but I do like my page. Too bad I still can't stitch my scans together too well ;)

Everybody is ...

PREGNANT! Well, everybody but me. Atleast that is how I feel right now. I am excited for all those who ARE pregnant, really I am ... but at the same time I am horribly jealous. Not a very good confession, but so true. It is horrible of me, but I can't help it. It is just really starting to get to me that we haven't even started on number two ... and Katie will be 5 in May!! So much for having them 2 years apart, tops 3. I think Chip is caving in a bit ... but who knows how long that will last.
And, I got Katie to the babysitters tonight. Rushed home and jumped in the shower. I was thinking about heading out to hear one of the bands that played the casino before, but then it hit me ... I am SO not walking into a bar by myself! Just not something I can do. If I was meeting friends there, sure ... but to just walk in and be a wallflower ... not on your life. They are playing tomorrow night, too. Gonna have to see if Jada can keep Katie one more night so Chip and I can go out!
So, I thought I could have some time to create, but of course I ended up on the computer. I am printing out some pics to scrap with, but no actual creating. And now it is timef or a nap before work. Since I'm not rocking out with Triggerproof then I might as well get some Z's.

Feeling, well BLAH ...

I have been feeling just yucky for the past couple of weeks. And it just doesn't seem to get better. Maybe not having a moment to myself is taking its toll on me. I haven't been in my "cave" in forever. i got about an hour in there a week ago, and did a few pages in my scrapjournal ... but I am so far behind that I am just fighting not to give up. I really loved how the last one turned out. I have been thinking about looking into trademarking the term "scrapjournal" and trying to come up with a way to market it. I was thinking I could make up a few of them and send them to a couple of the pros who have a "daily life" kinda style. I just really love my scrapjournal, can you tell. i love being able to flip through a totally completed album of last year, and relive the events. And "IF" I ever make it back into the cave for some actual creating then I have all kinds of journal prompts ready to go. Much less chance of forgetting details. I am still keeping up with my artjournal, though it is more journal than art. I just feel like I am getting nothing accomplished ... other than existing. Gotta CREATE something ... and I mean SOON!
Here are some pics of my angel bunny from the past few days ... wish I had time to scrap 'em!

My Creative Manifesto

My Creative Manifesto ... my answer to Ali's Weekly Challenge .... I would explain more, but the hubby is wanting to watch a movie ...

edited to add my words, in case you can't read them in the picture :)

My Creative Manifesto:
- just PLAY, don't Stress Out!
- it is the quality of creative time, not the quantity ... but quantity would be nice, too :)
- mistakes happen, use them to make something beautiful
- be inspired by life
- no one will ask to see your work. If you want someone to see it ... then show it to them! (come out of your craft closet)

New Year

Guess it is time for a new me ... or to discover the old me. The one that existed before I was a wife, before I was a mother. The one that is inherently me, and that has been missing for so long. I have spent the past half year, journaling and trying to look inside myself to figure out who exactly I have become. Not sure I even like what I have seen. There are things about myself that I don't like, but can't change. Seriously, you would think that you could change things about yourself, but how do you change your first reactions? That first thought that leaps into your head in any given situation. You can control it, and you can repress it, but you can't change it. I am struggling with the idea that it is enough to deny my instincts in certain matters. I am struggling with the desire to be a good girl, a good wife, and a good mother. All of which are intertwined with each other. And I am especially struggling with the need to be a woman!! To be ME!
So, what does that have to do with my "scrapcave"? Maybe that I haven't been in it in a while. Mom was in town, and since it is also the guest room I couldn't really take time to play. I have some ideas in my head. I printed out the start of my Scrapjournal for this year. I need to finish off the last few pages of last year. This fulltime thing is kicking my tush, and leaving me no time for myself. Thank goodness for journals! I have a couple going now. My big journal, my collagey journal, and a new little one of conversations and thoughts I will never share. Once again, we are onto the idea that there are things about myself that are repressed... for good reason :)

Feeling useless

Katie woke up today feeling yucky, and has been all day. And somehow her being sick makes me feel sick and I just want to go crawl in bed beside her, but I know if I don't take a moment to myself then I will go crazy in the next few days. I really want to do some scrapping tonight. My monthly kit club - MoshPosh - is adding to their design team, and I want to try to get an entry together. Have to peruse my pics and see what I want to work with. Since it is a kit club it makes supply selection easy... I am going to use the December kit, which one the girls aptly described as "Blingalicious". Definitely has shine power! Gotta get some cute Xmas pics printed out and get to work. And I have to make 1 card, which shouldn't be too hard. I already have an idea drawn up for it.

We finally got the Christmas tree and put it up yesterday. And Chip put some of the icicle lights up today, starting to feel a whole lot more like Christmas here. Katie was super excited about helping put up ornaments. She made us look after she hung each one. She was ADORABLE ... as always. My favorite, She surrounded an Elvis ornament with 6 little victorian doll ornaments because she said they like him ... I am sure they would!! How adorable is that?? She loves Elvis as any good Southern girl should. Now we just need to do some Christmas shopping ...

I wanna be a "blogger"

No, really I do... but I am just not comfortable with myself I guess. There are so many things that I think and feel every day that should never be shared. Kind of ashamed of myself for thinking most of them. And right now the actual events of my life are so boring that no one would even want to read them. Suffice it to say, work sucked, I didn't get enough sleep, and Katie did the most adorable thing today! Now, just repeat that daily.
I am in my 4th week of working full time and I hate it hate it hate it! I get home from work, spend about 30 minutes with Katie (getting breakfast and sugar check and shot), and then I crawl off to bed when Chip gets up. Then I get a whole 5 hours of sleep if I am lucky. Chip heads off for work and I am in charge. Katie really has been pretty good overall. She cuddles on the couch and doesn't make me play hide-n-seek to much. She is bound to do or say something adorable each day. How can she help it, she is cuteness personified. Today, I found a new little tiny birthmark above her right hip. So very kissable!
I am hoping that once this routine becomes more ... routine ... then I will be able to get back into doing some of the stuff I love. Playing in my room with paper and scissors. Or heck, just doing anything crafty. It is cold outside which always puts me int he mood to crochet or quilt. And I am falling behind on my scrapjournal - that has to be remedied! I would hate to slack off when the year is almost done. My LSS just posted that they are looking for people interested in teaching, so i thought I might actually take my scrapjournal idea up and see what they think about a class. I may not be able to totally commit myself every month, but that would be a one (or two) time deal. Hmmm, guess that means I might have to get off my procrastinating tushy, huh ;)

Nothing Accomplished ...

I can't believe it is almost December! I have done nothing that I set out to do this year. Well, almost nothing. i kept up (almost) with my scrapjournal. But I barely even submitted anything to get published ... as in maybe two things. I have taken tons of pictures, but still have to get them developed. I have bought even more scrap supplies, and not used nearly as much. I am eating a bit better, and losing a little weight, but mainly because of the new schedule. And also because of the new fulltime work we are inching closer to paying off debt. But I have only worked two full weeks, so I do mean inching closer. And my house ... my house is an even BIGGER PIGSTY than it was at the beginning of the year (once again, working fulltime now). I am hoping that once my body adjusts to working the graveyard shift five days a week that I will be able to get more accomplished. Right now, I feel like I was ridden REALLY hard and put up REALLY wet! One month left ... procrastinating is done ... time to actually make some of those resolutions a reality!

I wanna change my name!

I created 2sweetmom on a whim ... never thinking that years later it would still be part of my scrapping identity. I want something not so darn cutesy, something that has something to do with my name ... what could have more to do with my name than the first 3 letters of my first name and the first 4 letters of my last name. And I might add that I feel it is fitting that the last name is my married name, sometimes I feel a bit like I've been carjacked when stress starts beating me down. Not all of it because I am married ... but you know what I mean. And half the time I feel like I am in my car ... and I'm not really but that drive to Michael's seems longer every time. Maybe I should stop going ... it's not like I need anything else to add to my overflowing collection of scrap-related paraphenalia. I feel like a paper junky. Anyway, this is my new name ... at least for now, until I decide to change it again.